Schwätsch Schwäbisch?

Whenever I tell someone that German is my mother tongue I hesitate a bit since I am not entirely sure if this is true. As a matter of fact, whenever I need to speak "proper" high German I feel a bit uneasy as I grew up speaking some form of Swabian, the dialect spoken in the South-Western corner of Germany. And when being forced to speak high German, I continously have to wonder if this is indeed proper German or some Swabian artifact. It already starts with greeting someone. In Swabian, we use "Grüß Gott" (literally: pay respect to god) as a formal greeting, whereas in standard German it is "Guten Tag". So just greeting someone without thinking may get you looks saying "aw, you must be a long way from home". And it continous with things like using the "wrong" article for a word -- we say "der Butter" and the dictionary says it is "die Butter" (the butter), "der Radio" (that one is obvious -- radio) instead of "das Radio" and so on. Plus, we almost never use the correct past tense. As a rule of thumb, we use present perfect for whatever has happened or did happen in the past. 
 
And that are just our linguistic artifacts when attempting to speak high German (not to speak of a different language melody that makes it hard to deny you are from deep South). Real hard core Swabian dialect might be as incomprehensible to non-dialect speakers as a totally different language. For example, we use the expression "No net hudla" which means "no hurry" -- in standard German it is "Keine Eile". Or we may say "Gutzla" instead of "Bonbon" (sweet drop), "Guggl" instead of "Tüte" (bag), "Wecken" instead of "Brötchen" (a bun), "Hafa" instead of "Teekanne" (tea pot) and so on and so on. The situation where I almost automatically fall back into dialect is when I need to swear: "Du hast sie wohl nicht alle" sounds totally feeble and artificial to me, whereas "Du bisch fei it ganz bacha" just comes out naturally (BTW, both mean "are you crazy or what"). Anyway, let me end this excursion into strange dialects with something my grandmother liked to remark and which is a rather adventurous grammatical construction: "Mr woiss halt nie nix genaues net" meaning literally "you never don't know nothing for sure" (a triple negative!).